


One Toke Under the Line

by Elf (Elfwreck)



Category: Takin' Over the Asylum
Genre: Drugs, Gen, Gift Fic, Insanity, patients
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-22
Updated: 2015-10-22
Packaged: 2018-04-27 12:47:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5049172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elfwreck/pseuds/Elf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A disturbance in the routine at St. Jude's. But it's okay; Campbell knows how to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Toke Under the Line

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shyfoxling](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shyfoxling/gifts).



Something was wrong in the hospital. Hector was walking around in small tight circles; Margaret was curled up in one of the chairs, obviously trying to fit her entire body onto the small seat; and Stuart was restraining Alastair. Eddie walked past all of it quickly; whatever was going on, he'd find out soon enough.

"Oh, you're in for a treat tonight, Eddie," Campbell greeted him, a little more wild than usual as Eddie sat down. 

"Oh? How's that?"

"Marybelle from Ward 6 had a visit from her mother yesterday. And then she got into the pharmacy today." Campbell grinned at him, obviously expecting him to know what that meant.

Eddie sighed. "I don't know who Marybelle is or why she'd want to get into the pharmacy."

"Marybelle," said Campbell, placing one hand on over his heart and looking heavenward, "is very _devout_. Marybelle _walks with the Lord_."

He looked expectantly at Eddie. Eddie raised his eyebrows. Eventually, he broke.

"Okay, I give. What's it mean that Marybelle 'walks with the Lord?'"

Campbell put his hands together as if for prayer, still grinning. "What does God hate, Eddie? I mean, what does God hate most in the universe?"

"I dunno... sin? Debauchery? Divorce?" Eddie tried to think of other things that someone in this place would think God hated. "People who don't read their bibles?" 

Campell's hands fell open sharply as he said," _Drugs_ , Eddie. God hates DRUGS more than anything else. Drugs turn decent people into demons. Drugs make your mother remarry when your father is still waiting to come home, and never mind that he died twenty years ago--that's a lie created by those drug-pushers in the hall of records. So when Marybelle saw all those Devil's Temptations, a whole wall full of 'em in neat little boxes and bottles--and the bottle is the Devil's creation, too--she had to do something about them." Campbell grinned even wider, which Eddie hadn't thought possible.

"She had to..." Eddie's eyes grew wide as he caught on, and Campbell nodded. "What did she..."

"Threw the whole supply down the storm drain, she did. Staff's been frantic trying to get today's meds for everyone out of the hospital. There'll be weeks of paperwork trying to fix it. And the money! Stuart was yelling about 'thousands of pounds' and even Isabel had some strong words for Marybelle."

It was Campbell's turn to sigh, dramatically and mournfully, as he looked upward again. "I offered to host another radiothon, with prizes being the right to poke Marybelle with various sharp implements, starting with needles and moving up to a chainsaw, but they turned me down."

"You have a chainsaw?" Eddie really didn't like to think of Campell with a chainsaw.

"Well, not exactly. But I could get one. Probably. Or something like it. Anyway, it doesn't matter. They turned me down."

"Well, that's good. Probably."

Campbell scrunched up his face, thinking about it, and then nodded. "Probably. Ready to start the show, then?" Campbell was still... twinkling at him.

Eddie nodded carefully, and Campbell hit the "Hospital Radio" teaser before speaking into the mic as he set the needle down on a single. "We've got a very special show tonight; starting with this tune, dedicated to Marybelle's mother." 

Eddie recognized the Rolling Stones just as the words kicked in. " _What a drag it is getting old..._ "


End file.
